How to Travel With the Elderly

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I have an exceptional mom who’s 91, sharp as a tack, and absolutely loves to travel. So we do…. ALOT! But remembering a few things ahead of time makes these trips go much smoother.

So how do you travel with an elderly person?

In short, it takes certain characteristics and some preplanning to make an enjoyable and memorable trip:

• Patience: and when its lacking, do THIS
• Flexibility: because STUFF HAPPENS!
• Ability to slow WAAAAY down
• Have the right equipment and here’s what it looks like
• Preplan the important stuff, cuz STUFF Happens…
• But Spontaneity is the Spice of Life!

When Patience Gets Tough, do This

It does go without saying that patience, and more patience, is needed when traveling with other people. Even more so when those people need your help, such as children and the elderly.

My husband and I give ourselves plenty of time to travel alone together so that traveling with those we need to help is not the only travel we get to do. That may sound a little selfish, and it is! Caring for others is hard work and starts with making sure you’ve cared for yourself! Then you can turn around and do a better job with those you’re with. Ive learned that not being a 24/7 parent has helped me be a better parent, and likewise, not being a 24/7 caregiver has helped me be a better caregiver.

On trips with mom, the first thing I remember is that this could be our last. It is a reality that I know is always there, and I keep it in mind to help me and my children cherish the time we get to spend together. It puts any minor annoyances or frustrations in perspective, and allows patience to prevail.

Second, I try to make the trip HER trip. Traveling to Paris, for example, with mom is much different than if I were traveling to Paris by myself. When she’s along, this is Mom’s trip to Paris. When traveling in a car, she sits in the front seat and I sit in the back seat if I’m not driving. She picks the lunch spots, she joins in on picking the sites she wants to see, and the activities she’d like to do.

This is particularly true if the trip is 100% vacation. In our case, we travel a lot for business as well. Although the family comes along, the timeframe is a little more strict with a lot less choice on where and when. But my avid traveling mother is great at both kinds of travel!

Flexibility When Stuff Happens, and it will…

When driving down the road or pushing the wheelchair at our destination, sometimes we just want to get to where we are going so we can rest! Mom, however, has much different ideas on what she’d like to do and see along the route.

I keep in mind that I can probably come back to see this site again and maybe mom won’t be with me. So I detour to that store she wants to go into, I turn left when I really need to turn right. I stop for that dish of ice cream I really shouldn’t add to my waist, I drink the 5 o’clock glass of red wine with her wherever we are. These are and will be the moments I treasure the most about traveling with my mom.

Give yourself and your elderly travel companion grace. Tired happens. Cranky happens. All sorts of things can go wrong and sometimes do. You may plan a well-thought-out day that just doesn’t go as planned, or that doesn’t happen at all! Mom may have to sleep later one morning, or may have to stop early. This stuff happens and can be frustrating unless we learn to go with the flow.

We recently went on a trip to Colonial Williamsburg, you can read about it here, and I envisioned doing a lot more than we ended up doing. I researched, planned, and even purchased tickets for activities that would work well for both my pre-teen daughter and my elderly mom. But when we arrived there, it was a week of insane heat! Since mom doesn’t do early morning, we needed to find a lot more indoor and evening activities. It just wasn’t anything I had planned. Even one evening activity I did purchase tickets for, we completely forgot about and left early because the heat just wiped us out. So flexiblity is a MUST.

The Ability to Slow Way Down

A big part of traveling with an elderly person is learning how to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

A person who is really amazing at this is my brother, Griff. His trips with mom are all about the journey! His epic trip across the midwest with her in a vintage saab is one of my favorite mom trips to tell. You can find it here.

When husband and kids are in tow on these trips, we make sure to have a plan that includes the fast paced members of our group as well as the slow-moving meanderers. My husband is often the one who meanders pushing the wheelchair which I frantically try to keep up with my pre-teen daughter.

Giving ourselves a time and place to meet later gives everyone the freedom to explore at their own pace. Nothing could frustrate a teenager more than having to slow down on their race to the next rollercoaster to wait for all the others to catch up! I make sure they have partners to run with, and off they go until the designated meeting place and time.

What the Right Equipment looks like

The Travel Wheelchair with 50,000 Miles on it…

Although she needs a steady arm next to her, mom can still make a flight of stairs if needed, and walk a short distance. But even so, the first thing we got used to was traveling with a wheelchair. Even in her younger senior years when she could walk quite well, we convinced her that it was in her best interest to use one. She simply couldn’t keep up with the grandchildren without it, and those rascally grandchildren can’t always be slowed down enough for grandparents. It’s a real issue when traveling together, and creative solutions are needed to keep everyone from getting frustrated. Using a wheelchair is not something she took a liking to, but she quickly realized that we could take her more places with us, and she wouldn’t be so exhausted doing so.

So even if your elderly person is not used to a wheelchair, it’s a great solution to speed up the pace of the grandparents and even slow down the pace of the grandchildren! Believe it or not, they love to push wheelchairs!

And although it may freak out the parent at first, as it did me, to allow the kids and grandkids to push gramma, we encouraged them to do so.

Firstly, because we got a much needed break from pushing it ourselves! And secondly, it teaches all sorts of life lessons like empathy, caring, and patience. It helps kids grow up looking around, seeing hardship and not being afraid to lend a helping hand.

When considering a wheelchair for travel, we had to chose light and easy! I frequently travel by myself with mom and simply cannot drag out a heavy, full-wheeled version in and out of the car by myself.

For wheelchairs and accessories that I would consider for us, you can look here for a blogpost I wrote with details.

Rooftop Carrier

Another considerationfor a roadtrip is what fits in your car! We now have a Honda Pilot and have room for kids, wheelchair and luggage inside the car. When we had many more kids in the car, we used a roof carrier for the luggage, and put the wheelchair in the trunk for easy access. We have had both hard sided and soft sided roof carriers, and there are advantages for both.

Things we considered in our purchase were how and where to store it when we weren’t using it, at destination could we take it off and roll it up in a corner until leaving again, and was it waterproof for travel in the rain.

Preplan the Important Stuff, cuz Stuff Happens…

Packing Master Lists Are a Life Saver

My mother still has an excellent memory, so when it comes to packing clothing, medicine, her hearing aid batteries… she has always been a pro. When dad was with us it was a different story. Making a master List for him really helped us leave the house more often without the frustrations involved when essentials are left behind.

Destination List: Essential Names, Numbers and Addresses

It’s good to know that the chances of you having to call an ambulance overseas is very slim, but if you had to would you know the number to call? If you had to rush to a hospital, it would be a comfort knowing you already knew where it was located. These are the things you should write down about your destination and keep handy.

What a doctor or nurse would need from you would be an updated list of medications that your elderly loved one is taking, as well as a list of names and numbers of people to contact for emergencies. Make sure the elderly in your care has such a list on them when they travel.

Preplan Services Needed

Airlines can provide assistance with wheelchair service, pre-boarding, special meals, onboard assistance with just a phone call in advance.

Hotels can provide accessible rooms, and first floor accommodations that will make life easier when away from the comforts and familiarity of home. Eaily accessed showers, higher toilets, grab bars, wider door for wheelchairs make staying away comfortable with less anxiety.

Activities: wherever you go, whether its an actual paid attraction or a ton or city you are visiting, calling ahead for a list of inclusive activities is important. And I am sure you will find, like we did, that there are things you deem completely out fo the question that are perfectly accessible! For example, we went on a Gator tour in Louisiana that I just knew was something they wouldn’t allow a wheelchair aboard. But to my surprise, there we were….

Services That Cater to Elderly Seniors

I don’t often need help planning travel, but there are entire travel agencies that cater to seniors. There are cruise lines and tours that are tailored to seniors. This is a great option if you prefer an organized tour with little or no guesswork for you.

Car ride services, airport pickups, etc… wherever you visit, be sure to investigate the companies available in that area before you go.

I rely heavily on Uber and Lyft as they have larger sized vehicles you can order on their free app that will accommodate a wheelchair. But if the elderly person you are with cannot move himself in and out of the taxi, there are better equipped van services for that as well.

Scooter Rentals: sometimes pushing a wheelchair is downright impossible, and you need a motorized version. These are available in most cities and attractions for a reasonable price and they will deliver the scooter wherever you need it. Many actives and attractions have their own for rent as well.

Spontaneity is the Spice of Life!

Once you have done your best to avoid obstacles and unpleasant surprises, the rest of your trip will greatly benefit from the ability to be spontaneous!

Plans can change, and do. The most important thing is NOT that you succeeded in getting to your planned activities on time, but that you’ve spen that time together. Relax, enjoy, and improvise when needed.

Related Question:

Is there an Age Restriction for the Elderly to Fly?

There is no age limit for the elderly to fly, but it is always good to check with the individual carrier you are using. It is also a very good idea to have a check-up prior to the trip, and bring along a Fit-to-Fly Certificate from the doctor. But this is not mandated. There are a few services you can request as well: you can get a Gate Pass for yourself, if you are dropping them off, which will allow you to accompany them to the gate. You can request wheelchair assistance to and from the gates, and also the Unaccompanied Minor service can also be requested for seniors.